BDSM (bondage, domination, sado-masochism) was presented to me early in my sexual life. When I was 14 years old I was already looking for sex (cruising adult bookstores) and picked up a man in his early 30's who later became my first lover (for around 3 years). It was with him we explored BDSM, where he would give me pain first by him telling me to drip hot candle wax on myself, to assess my pain tolerance. Then later he whipped me with a belt (not in the same session, but each one spaced out with lovemaking in between). I later trusted him to tie me up and gag me while he slapped me and made love to me (I was pretending to be his unwilling sex slave). At the end he would untie me and take care of me, and we would talk about how it excited us.There were much more other scenarios we played, but the point is I never repeated what we did with anybody else, as my tastes had change and I wanted to explore the more socially acceptable art of lovemaking (as I continue up to now).
Recently I have become opened to explore this dimension with my clients. Some of them have show an interest, each with a different focus (which is totally accepted). Some like to be verbally dominated, others punished for being a bad boy, others physically controlled and wrestled. I have also read up on the subject of BDSM and it is a rich underground subject, full of imagination and creativity. The level of trust and caring is quite high, and all players (because this is really a fully interactive theater/amusment park) are quite involved mentally. It is a chance to shed our roles of the everyday and to become the helpless sex-object, or in my case, a master of slaves. Role reversal between reality and fantasy is a realm of exploration, for example, if a person in real life is a leader/boss of a group of people and generally well respected, he can also explore the side of being obedient and subservient, even degraded. Remember, it is an exploration of feelings and role-playing, consensual and non-abusive.
Lately I have been spanking the bad boys who ask for it, and the spanking often last for only 5 minutes. We have been mixing and matching, as we feel that bdsm is just a few more colors to use in painting a scene. There is nothing like the unexpected to spice things up!
so do you see the same clients with different roles as "ronielle" or have you chosen a different personna? Do you or your clinets (if they are the same ones who see you in your usual role) find it hard to switch roles? Do clients want an element of fear in the encounter (how far will this go?) or would they rather be secure and state their limits beforehand?
ReplyDelete