Pleasing escorts, Mindreading and Assumptions

One of the reasons I love escorting is that I enjoy pleasing men sexually. What happens when I get someone who is more interested in pleasing me than getting pleased?

That is exactly what has happened recently. The exact moment was this:

He started sucking me and probing my ass with his fingers (note: please lubricate your fingers with something before doing this! Even airport security knows this!). I am not turned on getting probed manually, however since I am the escort, I tolerate it believing that it is pleasing the client. I also lose any hint of erection.

My Assumption: The client will do acts that turn him on, and if fingering my ass turns him on and I can handle it, then by all means let him do it.

I remain silent and my body is not reacting with excitement, when he asks me (5 mins later) if he was doing something wrong. I told him that we could take the fingers out for a while. He looked at me and exclaimed that he was not a mind reader and that I should have said something. Perhaps that is true, however, I asked him if he was enjoying fingering me. He said that he was doing it for me, for my enjoyment. I told him that I let him do it because I thought it turned him on (fingering turns on many guys, but getting fingered is another story...) He said that the position he took to suck and finger fuck me was uncomfortable-painful, and he wouldn't do it if it didn't turn me on.

Lessons learned:

1 Unless I'm mistaken, a client calls an escort for a service. I understand that some clients prefer to please than be pleased, however, do keep in mind what pleases an escort may not be something that can be provided by just anyone. As a full time escort, getting my dick sucked or my nipples pinched is part of my daily routine, and whatever magic buttons I had are usually saved for my private non-client relationships.

2 If you are doing something, eg fingering your partner's anus or sucking his dick, and he loses his erection, there are good chances that you have missed the mark. An sure-indicator of sexual excitement (except in cases of impotence) is the erection. If the penis is already hard, then sexual excitement has been attained. If it gets soft while you do something, you need to go back to whatever was the most recent act that sustained the erection. Hopefully you catch on fast enough to recover.

3. Erections come and go naturally many times during a lovemaking session. Allow some rest periods when maintaining an erection becomes a chore.

4. There are times for idle chit-chat, and there are times for sexual action during sexplay. Communication can vary from verbal to physical. A suggestion to clients: learn to communicate your needs and desires non-verbally to your escorts and observe how we respond. I have many clients who are expert at being silent but communicate very well non-verbally. This skill is most often found in men with relationship experience. Learning body language with the right escort is a skill that can prepare you for a non-escort relationship.

Lovemaking should be fun, light and enjoyable. For completeness, it should have a beginning, a middle and an end. Keeping that in mind, have sex and have fun! And get better at it while you are at it! :)