Bareback and Money

Today a man corresponded with me by email, ultimately looking for a long term escort with whom he can get fucked 'safely' bareback. He claims, on his word, that he is hiv-, clean and free of disease.

What is my interpretation of this message? I will let you know right now.

My Guiding Assumptions in terms of sex with strangers:

1. Everyone is lying about their claim of "disease-free". Reason? If they want bareback sex, and will say anything to get it. They may believe they are clean, which is totally different than actually being clean. Even medical testing is not totally reliable.

2. Someone who looks for and gets unprotected anal sex with prostitutes is not someone who cares about their prostitute's health. They care more about the momentary good feeling of skin on skin, instead of long term ramifications of getting infected.

3. There are a lot of other escorts who will do it. So let them take the client. I am not so desperate for money that I would take the risk. Escorting for me is a career, not a way to buy my next fix of drugs.

4. I will lose many potential clients because of my use of condoms. However, since I do not work when I am sick, even with a cold or a sore throat, that by itself is a loss of potential income. Imagine the long term loss of income should I get sick on antiviral medications. in the end, I rather have a loss of income and be healthy than have a loss of income and be sick. Let's call it "Escort Risk Management"

5. People ask for bareback as a test of my integrity. They don't really want to have high risk activity, they just want to make sure their escort lives up to their claim of being "clean and safe". Someone who insists on taking the first steps in protecting themselves are more likely to live up to their reputation as safe.

6. Barebacking clients are maliciously infecting sex-workers with the motivation of revenge. These type of people actually exist, and infected escorts rarely receive any sympathy from anyone should they become infected. I have actually witnessed doctors who reduce the level of professionalism once they hear that I am a sex-worker (in a clinical setting). We have the reputation to be lower than dogs in modern society. So these malicious clients are actually doing the public a favor by infecting us.

The last assumption is especially powerful to me. Knowledge and protocols are the only way to effectively deal with these evil men. If pre-screening during the initial communications works, it minimizes on-the-spot disputes and confrontations when the condoms are reached out for.

The guy in question told me that he barebacks with other escorts and that he is still clean. Was that meant to reassure me?

The last thing my potential client wrote is that "money talks". In that case, we don't speak the same language. I'm glad that I care about myself enough to not let it get to me. But ranting about it on my blog sure helps!

At times like this, I am lucky to have the clientele that I have now. As good escorts are hard to find, good clients are also in short order. One more assumption:

7. Treat good clients in the best way possible. They provide comfort and care as well, and can be a good friend even when escorting is a thing of the past. In this case, it is a win-win situation. Not to mention loads of fun!

Dreaming of a perfect world...

Ronielle