Reports of Sexless Relationships, Casualties of Cancer

Prostate cancer, and the treatment for it, can spell disaster for the sexual aspects of a long term relationships. Mismatched sex drives of couples is so common that there should be a standard protocol to deal with it, other than permission to seek sex outside the relationship (which works in theory but ultimately leads to more complications in practice). So what do you do when the person you love no longer wants to physically make love to you anymore?

That's a big question, one that I encounter not only frequently with clients in relationships, but in many of my past relationships as well. Perhaps it is worse when people pay to have sex with me when my own partner won't even bother. But the same conclusion is there: unhappiness being stuck in a relationship; horniness, frustration and perhaps some self-destructve tendencies like over-eating, drugs, drinking and smoking can creep into the desperate situation. 

This is your challenge. You can concentrate on yourself and save yourself. No one can love you until you can love yourself. Be strong, and if you dream of being more happy without your partner then perhaps everything you have been holding on to in that relationship is but an illusion or an excuse for not being the person you want to be. Don't blame others, it is a sad attempt to hide the fact that we are responsible for our own lives and the inability to make positive changes. If all your mental energy is spent on negativity like complaints and nagging, there is not much energy left to grow and nurture and support yourselves and others.

So how does this all fit in to escorting? I listen to people, and I understand that no one chooses to be in this situation. I am the affection outsource. The pain of loving and not being loved in return hurts so bad, I can't be judgemental because true sympathy takes over. Since these guys are usually older, the feeling of being too old to start over is overwhelming. Deep down realizations that paying for sex (despite ingrained thoughts from societies' dim view of escorts) is probably the way to keep things in a therapeutic manner than risk further relationship problems with the current partner (which is already bad, which is why the escort is in play). During an eventual domestic dispute, the escort may be mentioned, and can be played in a way that there was no emotional attachement since it was sex for money.

In my dream world, there is a way of making everyone happy. Escorts are more important in the functioning of existing relationships as stress reducers/coucellors. And preventing your lovers' from being happy becomes a crime and dimly viewed in societies' eyes. But that is a dream on one escort, and it takes more than dreaming to make something true.