Valentines Month: Seek Out What Makes You Secretly Happy

Valentine's day is the day before my birthday, so naturally it has much more meaning to me than to most people. It seems that this special day brings out the extreme in people I talk to; they either love valentines or they hate it. Of course, being in love with someone makes the day that much more exciting, but being alone has it's own opportunities as well (opportunities that those in serious relationships are missing out on). Let's explore these possibilities, shall we?

As so many writers focus on what to do with your lover on valentines, this article will focus on creating opportunities of excitement with professional sex workers, regardless of your current romantic status. By broadening our goals widely, the entire month of February can be the 'Valentine's Month'. This approach is useful because it diffuses the need to make the official date of the 14th as the deadline for romantic endeavours. Many restaurants are completely booked on this day, as well as services provided by escorts and masseurs such as myself. By allowing yourself to be free to have fun anytime during the month can really simplify your life in terms of scheduling.

I consider valentines to be the month to create new sexual experiences. If you are not currently involved (or even more excitingly, you decide to cheat on your loved one, for whatever reason), then the easiest way is to contact your local escort for some fun. Seriously, it is as easy as making a massage appointment. But an erotic massage is a good option as well, for those who are not to comfortable for paying for sex but still want to do something a little crazy/wild and save a few bucks at the same time (masseurs generally charge less than escorts do, but action is limited to the masseur's restrictions, so find out in advance when you are making the appointment).

Keeping to the theme of love, sex and romance for valentines, consider exploring a new sexual experience with a new lover. Chances of making a memorable time are higher if you actively seeking sex. A very sad reality is that people have a concept that if they take someone out for a date, pay for dinner, movie, dancing, flowers, candy and other gifts, that they will also have great sex after. We all know that it is not guaranteed, and even if you do have sex with your date, you pretty much paid for it (and if you don't have sex, you pretty much end up feeling used for your generosity). At least with an escort you are guaranteed sex within an hour, without the trouble of looking for the perfect gift or planning a perfect night out. Both ways, you pay for it (even if you are married, you may actually pay more for sex with your spouse than you realize). In an ideal world we have the perfect partner who wants to please us and we please them just as much: holding on to those ideals can cause much grief when it doesn't happen to us. As I always say, "Perfection is the practice of being unhappy." We are never truly happy when we look for perfection, because we are always looking for the thing that keeps it from being perfect. (And we always find it.) Looking for the silver lining of every cloud is a better attitude to adopt when searching for happiness, where the cloud just makes the silver brighter by contrast.

Please keep in mind that I believe in love and monogamy, but my experience shows that (secretly) couples are not as sexually compatible (or happy in general) as they want people to believe. Is it right to suffer in a relationship, when the cure is simply a safe (and secret) sexual encounter with a stranger? When I see a married man as a client, he ALWAYS goes back home to his wife/lover/family. A little detour adds spice to his life, and excitement.The significant other usually is furious if discovered, but that fury is misplaced. It is from a deep down realization that their man is not satisfied, and may never be fully satisfied.  A good rationalization is that one person cannot expect to be the world to another  person. It is equally selfish to expect one person to fulfill another one's needs completely. Would you like to be completely dependent on someone, or have someone completely dependent on you? That thought doesn't inpire sex to me (actually, it is a boner-shrinker). Don't pull the honesty card out, because most people can't handle the truth.

But getting into gritty details, suppose you have decided to have a sexual encounter with an escort; what do you do? Getting physical is usually the whole point of the meeting. Small talk is necessary to some, but moving ahead to the main course is the smart way of using your limited time together. Now, some guys get anxiety here for different reasons such as being too nervous to get hard, or afraid of cumming too fast, or general guilt. These feelings are normal, and make part of the experience real. With that in mind, enjoy the entire experience and communicate to your escort as directly as possible if required.

If you decide to see a masseur who does "happy endings", all you have to do is be clean, wear clean clothes, trim your nails, and lightly smell good (this is goes for any date in general). Relax, and enjoy the ride. Perfect for the one who is not in the mood to reciprocate, and allows you to focus on YOUR needs. But this can be limiting if you don't cum easily with hand jobs, or you prefer to take part in the action, whether anal or oral sex (which is the usual restrictions with masseurs). But it is great for those new to sexual services.

Love is a more difficult concept to address compared to sex. But there are a few escorts out there who are willing to provide love as well, within the parameters established by those involved. Imagine a playland with a fence around it, and a playland that is open. You can have fun in both, but the one with the fence has an admission cost, and you can have fun within those bounderies. While love with an escort is very tricky, as long as both are getting what they need from the relationship, it will work. But I consider escorts as multi-purpose: we can provide love to those who want it, and sex on demand. A quiet evening hugging and kissing to recharge the morale, or great conversation and a bottle of wine to wind down a stressful week: all depends on what the client wants at that time. The boundary is this: both need to benefit. Sounds like a real relationship, huh? It is, and it is a good training for relationships in general. I say this because whether you are in a "real" relationship or not, you can still do relationship things and have a great time. Just don't get caught up with the money thing and everything will be alright.

Please let me end with this point: seek out what will make you happy. No one will bring it to you, no one can make you as happy as you can make yourself (believe me, it is true. It is also your responsibility to your wellbeing.) Images of Cupid flying around shooting love arrows is a symbol, a symbol of action. He sometimes hits, and sometimes misses. But at least he is trying, and so should you, no matter what situation you currently are in. So make an effort, and celebrate valentines this year. That's an order!